Ummmm.....

So, I have been pondering death lately, and have wondered what my funeral would be like (yes, I understand this is bizarre, but just hang in there). I wonder what people would say about me- She was a great Mom, sister, friend.... But really......... Who really knows who I am besides me?

I ponder this because recently I attended a funeral of a young man. His life cut short. People talked as if they were his best friend, but were they really?

So, to all my friend/family.... Here is what I would want you to say at my funeral...

Holly was a FANTASTIC mother, her kids were her life... THE END!!!!

After the family prayer, when they close the coffin... I want "I live Survive" to start playing (yes, because I am just that weird). This will make everyone smile I am sure. They will think.... Oh My Heck!!!! She was so funny :) They will remember all the times that I made them laugh, cry, and hopefully they will think I was a GREAT person and when they hear this particular song, they will remember me!

I want "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" to play.. It is my all time favorite song! Mr. Ottis Redding was a genius! He just spoke to me with this song! So... Enough about my funeral, but just read the lyrics... I hope they bring you as much joy as it has brought me...


(SITTIN' ON) THE DOCK OF THE BAY
- written by Otis Redding and Steve Cropper

Sittin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come
Watching the ships roll in
And then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

I left my home in Georgia
Headed for the 'Frisco bay
'Cause I've had nothing to live for
And look like nothin's gonna come my way

So I'm just gonna sit on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

Look like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same, yes

Sittin' here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's two thousand miles I roamed
Just to make this dock my home

Now, I'm just gonna sit at the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Oooo-wee, sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time


Remember, you can't always please everyone! You just have to be yourself and know that you are good enough! You are just sitting by the dock of the bay.... Livin your life :)

(No I am not planning on dying anytime soon, but you never know what is around the corner!)

Firsts

So, reflecting back on everything that I am grateful for- I am going to talk about Firsts!!!!

Do you remember your first kiss? The one that took your breath away. The one that made your stomach ache for more? I am grateful.....

Do you remember your first love? It might have been the same person that gave you that kiss. Remember how you felt when the words "I love you" were said to you that first time? I am grateful....

Do you remember the first time your heart was broken? How you thought your life was over? How you didn't think that you would find anyone who could put the pieces back together? How you cried yourself to sleep every night, wondering what you did wrong? I am grateful....

Do you remember the first time you saw your child? How you thought you couldn't love anyone as much as you love him/her? How you thought your heart was going to burst into a million pieces because you were so happy? I am grateful....

Do you remember all the friends you have in your life? Some have disappointed you, some of used you, and some would do anything for you? I am grateful....

Reminiscing back on the past 15 or so years (yes, I am that old)... I am grateful for all the heartache, blissfulness, and everything in between. Those who are reading this.. This includes you. All of you have helped me become the person I am today, and for that I am GRATEFUL...

I love you all more then you know. Even if we don't speak or see each other often.... You are in my life for a reason and I wouldn't change a thing...

Thank you all for just letting me be me!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving :)

Loves

Oh My Hell..... Really?

I am pondering life today and what differences there have been over the years, and to tell you the truth (not like you'd know if I was lying, lol ) I am amazed!!!

All my life I have heard that fashions come back into style, but I never in a million years thought that the 80's style would.... Now, don't get me wrong... 80's is my decade, but looking back at pictures, we all looked ridiculous.

Fluorescent colors, big hair, wild makeup.... I can actually smell the Aqua Net now! Leg warmers, cut off sweaters, wow......

Now, the good side to this is when I had my birthday party back in June, I was able to find clothes for my 80's party. Bad news is... My boys liked my clothes for the 80's party!!!!

Some of the clothes we had weren't that bad, but come on.... Fluorescent colors!!!! They didn't look good back then, and they don't look good now... (Contrary to what we thought back then,lol)

Just something to think about.....

AHHHHHH!!!

So, alot has been going on in my little world. I was promoted to House Manager at Stadium 8... This is going to be very different, but good. I will miss my crew at the 6, but I think I am going to be okay!

I have also started the Biggest Loser with some of my friends, and so far I am down about 10 pounds in 2 weeks, YAY ME!!!!!

In the downside of that... I stopped drinking caffiene, and now the doctors say I have a kidney stone... I mean WTH...... I try to get healthy and I get a freaking Kidney stone, that is bullshit!!!

Just had to vent :)

Biggest Loser

So, I am starting the biggest loser 2009 in St. George with some friends, if you would like to do it with us = Please let me know asap!!! We start on Monday... (oh, and it is all online, so anyone can do it!!)

Venting, Sorry

Another wondering post...... And maybe a little venting post!!!!

Here I am sitting (yes sitting Kari) alone at 1Am....Thinking about my family. This you think would make me smile, but at the moment, it is making me feel very sad. You see my dad's 50th birthday is coming up, so I wanted to do something memorable. Something that (if you know my dad) will make him cry.

So I call up my Aunts, my sisters and ask them to forward me any pictures that they have that included my dad or just random ones of the kids, grandkids etc. Well on this said task I find out that he is having a dinner at his house (not to his knowledge) to celebrate.... Well here is what makes me sad....

1. That I wasn't even invited. No one called me, texted me, or emailed me. Now, I realize that I do live 300+ miles away, but hey.... a "just so you know, or maybe you could make it" invite would have been very nice.

The only reason I found out about it was because I was planning something very special for him, and needed pictures.

2. Yes, I could probably make it to this said dinner, but then I would miss out on my own kids baseball game, and I didn't get to go to my sisters graduation last week, so if I did show up, it would mean that I cared more about the one then the other, which is totally not true.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I just don't know what to do. I miss my dad so very much and would LOVE to see him, but on the other hand..... I hate those people that just invite themselves to things.

I feel like if I didn't call, or anything that they wouldn't think a second thought about me. I know... Poor poor pitiful Holly, but really... I guess I just needed to get that off my chest.

But, just so you know... I do have a heart, and I love my family very much- and I think that is why this is bothering me so much.

Thanks for listening and just remember, call your family... Tell them that you love them- even if they are far way, invite them to the family gatherings even if you know the answer will be NO. Just knowing that you thought of them will make their day.

Ever Wonder?

Do you have wonder????

You can wonder why, wonder when, wonder how...... This is my dilemma today. I am wondering where the time has gone. It seems like yesterday that Gareth and I first met. It seems like a blink of an eye ago, my kids were babies.... Seriously- Where does the time go?

I am also wondering why? Why does it always seem like as soon as you get into routine, you hit a speed bump or another obstacle gets into your way?

I'm wondering why there are so many curve balls and so many blessings at the same time.... It makes it really difficult to know which road to take, but I guess that is the way its supposed to be huh?

Well, here is a wonderful wondering quote that I saw and thought I would send to all of you too :)

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.-Albert Einstein