Ummmm.....

So, I have been pondering death lately, and have wondered what my funeral would be like (yes, I understand this is bizarre, but just hang in there). I wonder what people would say about me- She was a great Mom, sister, friend.... But really......... Who really knows who I am besides me?

I ponder this because recently I attended a funeral of a young man. His life cut short. People talked as if they were his best friend, but were they really?

So, to all my friend/family.... Here is what I would want you to say at my funeral...

Holly was a FANTASTIC mother, her kids were her life... THE END!!!!

After the family prayer, when they close the coffin... I want "I live Survive" to start playing (yes, because I am just that weird). This will make everyone smile I am sure. They will think.... Oh My Heck!!!! She was so funny :) They will remember all the times that I made them laugh, cry, and hopefully they will think I was a GREAT person and when they hear this particular song, they will remember me!

I want "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" to play.. It is my all time favorite song! Mr. Ottis Redding was a genius! He just spoke to me with this song! So... Enough about my funeral, but just read the lyrics... I hope they bring you as much joy as it has brought me...


(SITTIN' ON) THE DOCK OF THE BAY
- written by Otis Redding and Steve Cropper

Sittin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come
Watching the ships roll in
And then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

I left my home in Georgia
Headed for the 'Frisco bay
'Cause I've had nothing to live for
And look like nothin's gonna come my way

So I'm just gonna sit on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

Look like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same, yes

Sittin' here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's two thousand miles I roamed
Just to make this dock my home

Now, I'm just gonna sit at the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Oooo-wee, sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time


Remember, you can't always please everyone! You just have to be yourself and know that you are good enough! You are just sitting by the dock of the bay.... Livin your life :)

(No I am not planning on dying anytime soon, but you never know what is around the corner!)

Firsts

So, reflecting back on everything that I am grateful for- I am going to talk about Firsts!!!!

Do you remember your first kiss? The one that took your breath away. The one that made your stomach ache for more? I am grateful.....

Do you remember your first love? It might have been the same person that gave you that kiss. Remember how you felt when the words "I love you" were said to you that first time? I am grateful....

Do you remember the first time your heart was broken? How you thought your life was over? How you didn't think that you would find anyone who could put the pieces back together? How you cried yourself to sleep every night, wondering what you did wrong? I am grateful....

Do you remember the first time you saw your child? How you thought you couldn't love anyone as much as you love him/her? How you thought your heart was going to burst into a million pieces because you were so happy? I am grateful....

Do you remember all the friends you have in your life? Some have disappointed you, some of used you, and some would do anything for you? I am grateful....

Reminiscing back on the past 15 or so years (yes, I am that old)... I am grateful for all the heartache, blissfulness, and everything in between. Those who are reading this.. This includes you. All of you have helped me become the person I am today, and for that I am GRATEFUL...

I love you all more then you know. Even if we don't speak or see each other often.... You are in my life for a reason and I wouldn't change a thing...

Thank you all for just letting me be me!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving :)

Loves

Oh My Hell..... Really?

I am pondering life today and what differences there have been over the years, and to tell you the truth (not like you'd know if I was lying, lol ) I am amazed!!!

All my life I have heard that fashions come back into style, but I never in a million years thought that the 80's style would.... Now, don't get me wrong... 80's is my decade, but looking back at pictures, we all looked ridiculous.

Fluorescent colors, big hair, wild makeup.... I can actually smell the Aqua Net now! Leg warmers, cut off sweaters, wow......

Now, the good side to this is when I had my birthday party back in June, I was able to find clothes for my 80's party. Bad news is... My boys liked my clothes for the 80's party!!!!

Some of the clothes we had weren't that bad, but come on.... Fluorescent colors!!!! They didn't look good back then, and they don't look good now... (Contrary to what we thought back then,lol)

Just something to think about.....

AHHHHHH!!!

So, alot has been going on in my little world. I was promoted to House Manager at Stadium 8... This is going to be very different, but good. I will miss my crew at the 6, but I think I am going to be okay!

I have also started the Biggest Loser with some of my friends, and so far I am down about 10 pounds in 2 weeks, YAY ME!!!!!

In the downside of that... I stopped drinking caffiene, and now the doctors say I have a kidney stone... I mean WTH...... I try to get healthy and I get a freaking Kidney stone, that is bullshit!!!

Just had to vent :)

Biggest Loser

So, I am starting the biggest loser 2009 in St. George with some friends, if you would like to do it with us = Please let me know asap!!! We start on Monday... (oh, and it is all online, so anyone can do it!!)

Venting, Sorry

Another wondering post...... And maybe a little venting post!!!!

Here I am sitting (yes sitting Kari) alone at 1Am....Thinking about my family. This you think would make me smile, but at the moment, it is making me feel very sad. You see my dad's 50th birthday is coming up, so I wanted to do something memorable. Something that (if you know my dad) will make him cry.

So I call up my Aunts, my sisters and ask them to forward me any pictures that they have that included my dad or just random ones of the kids, grandkids etc. Well on this said task I find out that he is having a dinner at his house (not to his knowledge) to celebrate.... Well here is what makes me sad....

1. That I wasn't even invited. No one called me, texted me, or emailed me. Now, I realize that I do live 300+ miles away, but hey.... a "just so you know, or maybe you could make it" invite would have been very nice.

The only reason I found out about it was because I was planning something very special for him, and needed pictures.

2. Yes, I could probably make it to this said dinner, but then I would miss out on my own kids baseball game, and I didn't get to go to my sisters graduation last week, so if I did show up, it would mean that I cared more about the one then the other, which is totally not true.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I just don't know what to do. I miss my dad so very much and would LOVE to see him, but on the other hand..... I hate those people that just invite themselves to things.

I feel like if I didn't call, or anything that they wouldn't think a second thought about me. I know... Poor poor pitiful Holly, but really... I guess I just needed to get that off my chest.

But, just so you know... I do have a heart, and I love my family very much- and I think that is why this is bothering me so much.

Thanks for listening and just remember, call your family... Tell them that you love them- even if they are far way, invite them to the family gatherings even if you know the answer will be NO. Just knowing that you thought of them will make their day.

Ever Wonder?

Do you have wonder????

You can wonder why, wonder when, wonder how...... This is my dilemma today. I am wondering where the time has gone. It seems like yesterday that Gareth and I first met. It seems like a blink of an eye ago, my kids were babies.... Seriously- Where does the time go?

I am also wondering why? Why does it always seem like as soon as you get into routine, you hit a speed bump or another obstacle gets into your way?

I'm wondering why there are so many curve balls and so many blessings at the same time.... It makes it really difficult to know which road to take, but I guess that is the way its supposed to be huh?

Well, here is a wonderful wondering quote that I saw and thought I would send to all of you too :)

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.-Albert Einstein

Whistle while you work

I have been thinking of Pumbaa and Timon a lot recently (for those of you who don't know who Pumbaa and Timon are, you are deprived of great Disney Culture). These two creatures have installed a work anthem for the Cinema 6. At any given time- we will randomly bust out in the most wonderful, out of tune, borderline hysterics of "Hatuna Matata". What better thing to sing at work, then no worries.. If you really think about it, it actually is very motivating. Even when you work somewhere that you don't enjoy, if you hummm a little of this song, you will get your shit done! I mean really, in all the worries of the world, why do people worry about work so much. You have to go, you don't have to like, but you have to go. There are so many other things to worry about.

So, when you are at work, at home, or at the grocery store (because you all know how much I love shopping).... Sing this, and it will make your day a little brighter.

Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase

Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze

It means no worries for the rest of your days

It's our problem-free philosophy

Hakuna Matata!

I don't think so!!!!!!

So, most of you know what's been doing on with my family, but for those I haven't spoken to in awhile- Here is the low down....

A couple of weeks ago, my sister-in-law Emmy and her daughter Haylee were at my house. This in itself is not unusual. We were hanging out with Gareth, and Cadyn and my mother. Well, on this particular day, Emmy had told her husband Mike that she had filed for divorce. Well, that is when it all started.

*Drama Music begins*

Gareth leaves the house to go get Starbucks, and not 5 minutes after he leaves, Mike shows up to my house. Oh hell no! I asked him to leave, but he was furious- he wasn't going to leave without Hayz. Well, I won't get into all the details, but lets just say it wasn't a fun experience. I did get Em and Hayz out of the house before getting pushed into a wall though. Needless to say, cops showed up, they arrested Mike. We got a protective order, and life has just been on the rocks since then. Even last week, when we thought he was going to leave everyone alone, he broke the protective order (luckily no body was home at the time), and went back to jail... DUMBASS!!!

Well, fast forward to this morning. I am sleeping in for once and my doorbell rings.... Immediately my heart drops... Who could be here at 9AM.... So I get out of bed and go to the door, pepperspray in hand, and open the door. Oh, no worries it is just DCFS doing a follow up on the case they have on Cadyn.... Yup, you heard me right... Because Cade was at my house durning the fight and got pushed by Mike, I get DCFS at my door.... What is wrong with this picture.

Well, the gentelman was very nice, and spoke with Cade regarding the incident, and then asked me some questions. By the time he was ready to leave, he told me not to worry, that we shouldn't be hearing from them again.


I just think that with all that has happened... Why is it that I get DCFS called on me??? What is wrong with this picture... Now, don't get me wrong, I am glad that they wanted to make sure that Cade was alright and didn't need any counseling, but really.... Mike should be the one going through all this.. He is the one that started it all, but for some stupid reason, we are all the ones paying for it....


Anyways, that is my vent for the day... thanks for reading, and thanks to all of you that have been there for us in this difficult/ crazy time!!!!

We love you all

Something to think about!

It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible.

When I first read this quote, it really hit home. It made me think of not only myself, but my friends and family! How many times have we thought something was "impossible", just to find out that it really wasn't?

I think we get so involved in our lives that when a obstacle arises, we try to find the impossible in that said task, just so we don't have to deal with it at the moment.

I think you mom's can agree with me.... We take on so many different tasks on a daily basis, we have so many balls in the air, that sometimes if you change that, the ball drops... Tis why we say "impossible"... But, in the end, we pick up all our balls and throw them in the air again, and get the shit done!!!!

Because we are moms, and we are superhero's! LMAO

With that last line being said.... Another quote for you to think about...

No matter how far you travel or how much you run from it, can you ever really escape your past?

So just remember, you are who you are, and your past will always be worse then you remember, lol...

Stupid People

Ok, I know that I am not the brightest star in the sky, but I can't believe people now a days. So, most of you know (or now know, lol) that I have been working as a manager at the Movie Theatre. Well, let me just tell you... People are Stupid....

Last night I was working. The last set of movies besides one have already started. If we don't sell to the last show, I am home by 9:30. Well, the show starts at 7:50 and at 7:51... You read right... 7:51 TWO people showed up for the movie. Who does that? I can't believe I have to sit around until 10:30 for 2 people.... What a waste of energy. Oh, and to top it off.... 2 stupid teenagers!!! Shouldn't they be in bed?

Sorry, had to vent!!!!

Times Like These- Foo Fighters

I got tagged... Your NEXT:

1. Put your music library on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG TITLE DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing this. Post a comment on their blog that says "You've been tagged! See my blog for details."

1) IF SOMEONE SAYS, "IS THIS OKAY," YOU SAY? ...Sooner or Later - Breaking Benjamins
2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? ...Heaven - Warrant
3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? ...You and Me -Lifehouse
4)HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? ... Georgia on my Mind - Ray Charles
5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? ... Stitches - David Cook
6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? ... Carpe Diem Baby - Metallica (Oh so true)
7) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? ... In the middle - Theory of a Deadman
8) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? ... Toes - Zac Brown Band... So true... " I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand, not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand... Life is good today, Life is good today!"
9) WHAT IS 2+2? ... LOL... Me and You- Kenny Chesney (ahhhh)
10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? ... Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffet
11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? ... The truth- David Cook
12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? ...Shower the People - James Taylor
13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? ...Right Now - The Pussycat Dolls
14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? ... Call me when you're Sober - Evanescence
15) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? ... Alone - Heart
16) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? ... Shake That - Eminem
17) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? ..LMAO. I feel like making love - Foghat
18) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? ...Friends in low Places- Gareth Brooks
19) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? ... I want to know what love is -Foreigner
20) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? ... Last Resort - Papa Roach
21) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? ... Times like these- Foo Fighters

**I tag all who read this blog!